


Lucky

by Jinx (jinx37kat)



Series: One Chance [2]
Category: The OC
Genre: Angst and Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-06-25
Updated: 2005-06-25
Packaged: 2018-04-25 03:58:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4945858
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jinx37kat/pseuds/Jinx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It had been five weeks, four days and several hours since the incident in the bathroom at school (not that he was counting or anything) and true to his word, Seth had left Ryan alone to figure out this whole possible Seth/Ryan Thing.  Okay, so it wasn’t just possible.  It was a <i>definite</i>.  At least that’s what Ryan made it out to be when they were talking: He just needed to get his head around what his heart already knew.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lucky

_i knew how it felt to be another one in need of someone to show the way_  
until you saw a part of me that nobody else could see and my life hasn’t been  
the same… 

_Lucky, Hoobastank_

 

 

Seth

 

It had been five weeks, four days and several hours since the incident in the bathroom at school (not that he was counting or anything) and true to his word, Seth had left Ryan alone to figure out this whole possible Seth/Ryan Thing. Okay, so it wasn’t just possible. It was a definite. At least that’s what Ryan made it out to be when they were talking: He just needed to get his head around what his heart already knew.

 

Seth could understand that. He’d been doing that himself lately. Because contrary to popular belief, Seth was still trying to wrap his head around this whole thing, too.

 

He had a feeling that the summer away had a lot to do with it. He had left Newport because had Ryan left. That was a pretty big major clue. He didn’t have to go. He had a girlfriend and everything. But the minute he found out Ryan was leaving, he knew he couldn’t stay. No one understood the major suckage his life had been prior to Ryan’s arrival. And with Ryan leaving, he was afraid his life would return to said suckage. Even having a girlfriend didn’t assuage him of that fear.

 

And while he was sailing away on his catamaran; that was when he realized he may have felt a bit more than friendship for Ryan than was strictly normal… for best friends and/or brothers, that is.

 

When his notebooks (yes, plural) started filling up with images of Ryan during the summer, the clue bus he’d been ducking and dodging for several months ran him over and flattened him on the spot.

 

It was time to hop on and admit defeat.

 

Not that having more than brotherly feelings for his best friend was a bad thing. But up until then, Seth had considered himself one hundred percent a ladies kind of guy.

 

The clue bus was packed, of course. Full of sideway glances and too long hugs and late night video tournaments that had them sitting much closer than what was strictly considered guy-normal. He sat amongst the memories and felt his heart break as he realized he would probably never see Ryan again… never get the chance to tell him how he felt. Ryan was with Theresa now and they were having a baby. 

 

Seth was officially alone.

 

Again.

 

So, Seth spent his days and night sketching reams of notebooks. Some pages were of Summer. A few were of other people of Newport: Marissa, Luke—formerly of Newport, even Anna—formerly of Newport, the latter two who had moved away, too—like Ryan. But mostly, they were of Ryan.

 

And now, one of those notebooks was in Ryan’s pool house, tucked neatly under a pillow. Or so Seth had been told when he went to Ryan to ask for the book back. Ryan refused and told him that it was helping him. Seth shrugged. Who was he to argue with that? Whatever assisted Ryan with figuring everything out faster was fine with him. He was tempted to provide Ryan with the other three notebooks, but thought better of it when he remembered Ryan going through the Summer pictures and calling him ‘obsessed’. Ryan would probably freak if he knew there was more than one notebook of him. 

 

One was more than enough. Four? That was practically stalking. Ryan would put a restraining order out on him so fast Seth’s head would fall off.

 

Though with Ryan, one never knew. He might actually find it funny. Enduring? Oh, who was he kidding? Seth would never see Ryan again.

 

The five weeks didn’t pass as slowly as Seth assumed it would. He was still pretty much avoiding everyone. Well, not so much avoiding; more like not seeking out others company.

 

Summer had cornered him the day after the Bathroom Incident and proceeded to verbally wring his neck for what he had said to Zach.

 

Though, he had to admit, he never could have guessed the outcome.

 

“You mind telling me what that was all about yesterday, Cohen?”

 

His locker door was slammed shut barely missing his fingers. Seth blinked and glanced down into the very pissed off eyes of his ex-girlfriend.

 

“Hey, Summer.”

 

“Don’t you ‘hey, Summer’ me, Asshat. What the hell is going on with you?”

 

Seth adjusted his pack before leaning against the lockers. “Look, I’m sorry, it’s just…”

 

“I don’t want to hear it, Cohen. That was a pretty mean thing you said yesterday and…”

 

“Mean? Mean??”

 

“Yes, ‘mean.’”

 

“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t know you had the market cornered on ‘mean’. Excuse me for encroaching on your territory,” he snarked.

 

“What the hell is with you, Cohen?”

 

What the hell was with him? He thought. He looked at her and an idea so foreign to him popped into his head, he wondered if someone or something had taken over his body while he wasn’t looking. Because he was… Was he really? Yes, he was.

 

Seth was contemplating telling her. 

 

What?! Yes! He was actually contemplating telling her the truth. Oh god, he was definitely insane. It was the stress of just having admitted to Ryan that he ‘liked’ him… that way that was doing it. It must have been. It was the only thing he could think of. This was Summer Roberts here! Miss Rage-Blackouts herself. Was he actually thinking about telling her that her ex-boyfriend was now in love with his best friend?

 

What the hell was he thinking?

 

Obviously, he wasn’t because the next thing he knew, he had taken her arm and was dragging her down the hallway until he found an empty classroom. He followed her inside and closed and locked the door.

 

“What the he—?! Cohen! What has gotten into you?” Summer demanded, hands fisted on her hips.

 

Seth squeezed his eyes shut, hoping that if he couldn’t see her, it would make everything much easier.

 

What the hell are you thinking? His mind roared.

 

No! No, no, no, nononononono!

 

Instead, he opened his eyes and started pacing. “Look, Summer, I’m really sorry about yesterday, okay? You are right. I am an asshat. What I said yesterday was mean. I’m totally sorry, okay?” He ended his apology by sitting dejectedly on the edge of a table, eyes closed, head bent.

 

That’s good. You didn’t say anything. Good boy! Just apologize and maybe you can get out of here with what is left of your dignity.

 

He was expecting a lot of things: yelling, hitting, punching, things being thrown. None of that happened. Instead, he felt a gentle touch on his arm and he looked up into surprisingly compassionate eyes.

 

“This is about you and Ryan, isn’t it?”

 

Seth’s eyes widened. “Huh?” He said stupidly. He did not just hear that. Did he?

 

“Cohen. I may be shallow and conceited…” Seth snorted and she hit his arm. “But, I’m not dumb. I know you like Ryan." She waved her arm around. "Like that. I mean, you left Newport practically the second Ryan drove away. Hello!” She smacked him on the side of his head.

 

“Yeah, well…”

 

“You’ve been acting strange. Well, stranger than normal for you, since you came back. It didn’t take a genius to figure it out.”

 

Seth turned panicked eyes towards her. “You don’t think everyone knows, do you? Oh god! I can’t believe I’ve been so transparent! Oh my god! What am I gonna do, Summer?” He gripped her arms and swallowed nervously, shaking her like a ragdoll.

 

“Calm down, Cohen. Sheesh! I don’t think everyone knows. I mean Ryan doesn’t, does he?”

 

Seth sagged back down on the table. “He does now.”

 

Summer’s eyes widened. “When?”

 

“When he came to yell at me for…” he smiled up at her, “…being mean to you.”

 

“Ah,” she started sarcastically. “My own knight-in-shining-armor.”

 

“Hey! I thought that was me!”

 

Summer sneered. “It was until you ran off to Portland like a little girl and left me to fend for myself.”

 

Seth grew serious. “I’m really sorry about that, Summer.”

 

Summer jumped up on the table and sat next to him. “I know.” She linked her arm with his and leaned against him. “It’s okay. I’ve got a new knight.” Her eyes sparkled when she looked up to him. “He’s a pretty good guy.”

 

“Yeah,” Seth agreed. “He is.”

 

“Hey!” Summer elbowed Seth in the ribs. “Get your own knight.”

 

Seth sighed and looked away.

 

“I’m sorry, Cohen,” Summer put her chin on his shoulder. “Did he freak out when you told him?”

 

“Kinda. Sorta. Not really.”

 

“Well, which is it?” She lifted her head and glared at him.

 

“Not really. He said he needed time to think about it.”

 

“Really?” Her voice hopeful. “That great. Uh, that’s great, isn’t it?”

 

“Yeah, it’s great,” Seth said. The lack of enthusiasm hung heavy in the air.

 

“You don’t think he returns your feelings?” She put her head back down on the side of his arm.

 

Seth shrugged. “I don’t know. I guess I’ll find out, though… sometime.”

 

They were silent for a few minutes before Summer jumped off the table and stared pointedly at him.

 

“What now?” He asked anxiously.

 

“Now? You buy me a latte to make up for being mean to me yesterday.”

 

Seth smiled and slid off the table. “M’lady.” He offered his arm. Summer threaded her arm through his and they left the classroom, making their way to the rec room.

 

 

Seth smiled again feeling much better about the whole thing and knowing full well that he had gotten off very, Very, VERY lightly with Summer this time around. The next time? Probably not so much.

 

Plus, now he had an ally of sorts. Well, if nothing else, someone who knew. It made it that much easier to deal with. And it lifted a weight from his chest that he didn’t realize had been slowly suffocating him.

 

He made his way to the rec room and settled on to his favorite couch in the corner. Not feeling like sketching, he put his feet on the table in front of him… something that he’d seen Ryan do hundreds of times. Leaning back, he rested his head on the back of the couch and closed his eyes.

 

* * * * *

 

Ryan

 

Ryan walked up the few steps to the upper lever of the rec room and made his way to the darkened corner where Seth had taken up residence on the only couch this far back. It had been Seth’s new favorite spot for the past two months. Most of the time Ryan would see Seth up here by himself, but a few times he would see Zach and/or Summer up here, too. A few times, Ryan had joined him. But for the most part, Ryan tried to leave Seth alone. He knew that Seth was doing his own form of thinking just as Ryan had been for the past several weeks.

 

It hadn’t been easy.

 

There had been many times when Ryan had wanted to seek out Seth, but he always refrained. He was afraid that if he went to Seth, then Seth would assume that Ryan was ready and he was so not ready. Okay, so he was more ready than he was five weeks ago, but…

 

But the past five weeks had been murder. Ryan had certain expectations. One of which was a nightly game of PlayStation. No matter what they were doing, unless their girlfriends kept them busy, they always had time for a quick game. But there had been no PlayStation. Also, he was used to Seth bursting into the pool house unannounced at odd hours of the day and night. The past five weeks? Nothing.

 

These two things alone were causing tension in the family. Sandy and Kirsten were starting to take notice. He would catch sly glances and covert looks between Sandy and Kirsten as they sat a dinner even though Ryan and Seth tried their damnedest to keep some kind of normality between them. 

 

But they hadn’t succeeded because their nightly game hadn’t happened… for five weeks. Nor had they bothered to study together, even though they used to study together either in the pool house or at the dining room table.

 

Ryan was finding himself going insane just from his lack of Seth. And it was with that understanding late last night that Ryan realized that his head finally comprehended what his heart had been trying to tell it all along… he loved Seth.

 

It’s about fucking time, he thought angrily to himself. And it only took five and a half weeks of solitude to figure it out!

 

So, when he got up this morning, he was determined that today would be the day he would tell Seth. 

 

He had sauntered into the house, ready to sit down next to Seth and confess everything (providing the Cohen parents weren’t in the room).

 

Unfortunately, as had become habit since the Forgetting Seth Incident several weeks ago, when Ryan woke up, Seth had already left on his skateboard. Seth had yet to forget or forgive either Ryan or his parents for leaving him behind that morning over a month ago and took to ‘boarding to school every day.

 

It was a punishment that both Ryan and Seth’s parents felt they justly deserved and so, hadn’t said anything to Seth about it… yet. Though Ryan could tell Sandy and especially Kirsten were going to crack soon and say something.

 

So it was with that thought that Ryan was now standing at the top of the steps watching Seth relax on the couch, feet on the table, head resting on the back of his seat.

 

There was only half a day left of school and Ryan felt he should certainly wait until the end of the day, but seeing Seth sitting there… he just couldn’t.

 

He moved over to the couch and sat down next to Seth. Seth didn’t move for the longest time and Ryan began to wonder if perhaps Seth had fallen asleep. That is until Seth’s head tilted in his direction and a brown eye barely creased opened.

 

Ryan felt his insides twist as a slow, small smile curved Seth lips. “Hey.”

 

“Hey,” Ryan whispered. The butterflies in his stomach growing to Mothra sized proportions.

 

“’S up?” Seth asked, his other eye slitting open to stare at Ryan under heavy-lidded eyes.

 

Has he always been so sexy? Ryan thought to himself before shaking his head.

 

How could he have thought he needed time? He had missed Seth terribly these past several weeks. Missed him like he had never missed anyone before… up to and including his mom and brother. There was no way that Ryan could be without Seth. The past five weeks was proof enough of that.

 

Ryan watched in amusement as Seth’s eyes slowly started to widen as the implications of Ryan’s silence began to filter into Seth’s always-running brain. Seth slowly sat up, removing his feet from the table and leaned his head forward, full wide eyes now focused solely on Ryan.

 

“Ryan?”

 

“Yes.”

 

Ryan stifled a grin as he watched Seth’s eyebrows come together in confusion. He leaned forward and whispered, “That wasn’t a question, Seth.”

 

“It wasn’t a…” Seth began to repeat before understanding dawned in his eyes and he sat back quickly and blinked rapidly several times at Ryan. “You mean? Uh, I mean, you… well, that you’ve… we… um…”

 

Ryan quirked his mouth. “Yes.”

 

Seth’s eyes widened further and his mouth formed an ‘o’ under his own fingers which he’d brought to his lips. He began nodding his head. “Okay. That’s, um, that’s great. I mean, that’s awesome. That’s…” Seth then frowned and cocked his head at Ryan. “Um, Ryan? What exactly does that mean?”

 

Ryan sat back against the arm of the couch. “It means, ‘yes’, Seth. It means I want you. It means I want everything.”

 

“Ev… um, everything?” Seth barely managed not to squeak.

 

“Everything,” Ryan confirmed. He leaned forward. “It also mean that while it is a ‘yes’, I need just one thing.”

 

Seth nodded, though if he stopped since the first time, Ryan couldn’t be sure. “Okay. Name it. Anything and it’s yours. All you have to do is ask. And I’ll make sure it happens. Whatever you wan…”

 

Ryan reached out and pinched Seth’s lips with his index finger and thumb. He stared pointedly at Seth and Seth nodded his understanding. When Ryan removed his fingers, his glared defied Seth to start talking, which to Seth’s credit, he didn’t.

 

“It’s not something I want, per se. It’s something I think we both need.” When Seth merely nodded, Ryan continued. “We need to go slow.” Seth raised his eyebrows silently telling Ryan to go on. Ryan shook his head. “No, that’s it.”

 

“That’s it?” Seth blurted. “That’s it?!” Ryan nodded. “Well, duh, dude! What did you expect? Did you think I’d want to jump in the sack…?” 

 

“Seth!” Ryan’s hand shot out and covered Seth’s mouth with a slap. He glanced around the room and was relieved when he saw that most of the student in the rec room where down by the arcade games and pool table. None had heard Seth’s outburst.

 

He slowly removed his hand and glared at Seth.

 

“Sorry,” Seth whispered, looking around them as well. He turned his attention back to Ryan. “But, dude. Seriously? You’re not the only one who needs to do the slow thing.”

 

Ryan’s brows lifted. “Really?”

 

“Yeah, man. I mean, I love you and stuff, but I’m just not ready for the… you know.” Ryan could see Seth’s cheeks color in the dim light and felt relief that Seth was probably feeling the same way he was.

 

Ryan raised an eyebrow. Seth had said that he loved him during their conversation in the bathroom, too, but to hear it again… wow! “You love me?” He whispered.

 

Seth looked down and away. “Um… yeah?”

 

A corner of Ryan’s mouth curved up. “Is that a question?”

 

“Uh, no?”

 

Ryan looked pointedly at Seth, who was suddenly trying his damnedest not to look at Ryan.

 

“No. As in ‘no’ you don’t or…”

 

Seth’s head snapped up. “No! I mean, yes! I mean…” 

 

“Well, which is it?” Ryan sat bemused. 

 

Seth opened his mouth to probably shove his foot further down his throat, but then it dawned on him that Ryan was messing with him. Ryan laughed as Seth muttered, “Jerk.”

 

Ryan looked around to make sure no one was watching before whispering, “Me, too.”

 

If Seth’s face could light up their darkened corner, it would have been the brightest area of the rec room. Ryan mentally shook his head. What a place to have this conversation… What is with them and confessionals at school?

 

After a few minutes of them smiling stupidly at each other, Ryan looked down at his watch and realized that their next class was in a few minutes. “Yeah. Okay. Look, why don’t we finish this at home, okay?”

 

Seth grabbed Ryan’s wrist and looked at the time. “Sure, dude.”

 

They both stood to leave.

 

“Meet you out front after school?”

 

“Um, what about…? I mean… didn’t you catch a ride with Lindsay this morning?” Ryan watched Seth bite his lip, suddenly unsure.

 

“No. I road my bike in today.”

 

Ryan smiled inwardly as Seth looked first shocked then pleased. “Oh, okay, dude. See ya later.”

 

Ryan watched Seth leave and realized that for the first time in five weeks he was happy… really happy. He hadn’t expected it to be that easy, but the hardest things usually were simpler than expected.

 

He smiled all the way to his next class.

 

* * * * *

 

Seth

 

They biked and ‘boarded their way home mostly in silence, silently agreeing that their talk would be better in the privacy of home… specifically the pool house.

 

“So,” Seth began, dropping on the bed and laying cross length along the bottom. He turned his head and watched as Ryan closed the door behind him and stood at the door staring at Seth.

 

Seth quirked an eyebrow. “Yes?”

 

He watched as Ryan inhaled deeply and crossed the room to sit beside him.

 

“Um…” Seth started only to be interrupted by Ryan.

 

“I broke up with Lindsay.”

 

Seth blinked at Ryan and sat up. 

 

“Uh, oookay?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Um, when did this happen? And why didn’t you tell me?”

 

Ryan turned his head to face Seth and curled the corner of his lips in a small smile. “I’m telling you now.”

 

“Oh.”

 

“Yeah, ‘oh’.”

 

“Um, are you okay? I mean, are you and Lindsay okay and stuff?”

 

Ryan faced forward again, giving Seth a good look at his profile. “Yeah, we’re good.”

 

Seth looked down at his hands between his knees. He suddenly felt bad for Ryan’s break-up, though he couldn’t figure out why. This was supposed to be a good thing. “I’m sorry, dude.”

 

Seth could see Ryan out of the corner of his eye turn to him. “It’s not your fault.”

 

Seth turned incredulous eyes on Ryan. 

 

“Well, not completely,” Ryan amended.

 

Seth nodded and looked away.

 

They sat in silence for a moment longer until Seth saw Ryan’s hand come into his field of vision and reach down to take one of his own. Seth snapped his head around and looked at Ryan, who was facing forward again, resolutely not looking at Seth.

 

“Look,” Ryan began. “Lindsay and I had a long talk a few weeks ago and we both pretty much decided that it was never going to work between us.”

 

Seth returned to looking at their entwined fingers and noticed how easily they fit together. He continued studying them as Ryan continued to speak; Ryan’s thumb slowly caressing the base of his index finger.

 

“Besides the fact that she is kinda my aunt… She really wants to have a relationship with her dad… your grandfather… my—hell, I don’t know—enemy? Whatever. She’s also trying to have a relationship with her sister… my guardian.” Ryan ran the fingers of his other hand through his hair and gently squeezed their clasped hands. “It’s just too complicated. And now there’s…” Ryan raised their clutched fingers. “…this.”

 

“Should ‘this’ not happen?” Seth asked quietly, looking down at his hand now in Ryan’s lap.

 

Ryan turned to Seth for the first time since he started speaking. “No!”

 

Seth’s eyes widened at Ryan vehemence before his smiled. It was nice to know that Ryan wanted this just as much as he did.

 

Ryan grinned at Seth then looked down at their hands in his lap. “No, ‘this’ should definitely happen.” 

 

“Okay,” Seth whispered.

 

“I just think we need to take this slow.”

 

“Okay.”

 

“I haven’t been all that successful with relationships. Not in Chino and not here.” Seth’s breath caught in his throat as Ryan turned full blue eyes on him. “I want to make sure I get this one right.”

 

“Okay,” Seth’s voice cracked, so he just nodded… several times… like a bobble head.

 

Ryan smiled kind of shyly. “Okay.”

 

* * * * *

 

Seth bound into the kitchen the next morning in his usual manner, causing his parents to look at him in concerned amusement.

 

“Good morning, parental units. How are you this fine day?” He pulled the cereal and two massive bowls from the cupboard, grabbed two spoons and sat down in his usual chair at the end of the island.

 

“Well, hello yourself, stranger,” Sandy remarked, grinning at his son and throwing a raised eyebrow Kirsten’s way.

 

Remembering the milk, Seth jumped up and snagged the carton from the fridge before sitting down again.

 

“Hello, sweetie,” Kirsten said as she gave him a kiss on his temple. “Need a ride this morning?” Sandy shot her a look, both afraid what this subject would bring up.

 

“Yeah, that’d be great,” Seth mumbled around a mouthful of Cap’n Crunch.

 

“Does this mean your skateboarding-to-school days are over?” Sandy asked and winced as Kirsten glared at him.

 

Seth slowly lowered his spoon in to the bowl. He’d seen the interchange between his parents and knew that he was going to have to explain his past behavior. “Um, yeah, about that…”

 

“We’re so sorry, sweetie. Your father and I have felt terrible for leaving you that day.”

 

Seth looked up at his mom and blushed. “I know. I’m sorry I’ve been acting like a brat.”

 

Sandy smiled. “We expect nothing less, son.” He leaned over and ruffled Seth’s hair.

 

“Oh, HA! Dad. You are so the funny one today. Might you be performing at the Comedy Club this weekend?”

 

“No, that would be your mother.” Kirsten grimaced at her husband.

 

“Knock it off, you two.”

 

Just then Ryan entered and sat next to Seth. Seth slid the empty bowl towards Ryan and grinned at his parents.

 

Seth nudged Ryan as he attempted to take his first bite of his cereal. “Hey, Ry. Dad’s gonna be at the Comedy Club this weekend. We should check it out.”

 

Seth grinned as he watched Ryan raise his eyebrows at his parents. “Really?” Ryan said, mouth full.

 

“Yep. He’s apparently funny. At least he thinks so.”

 

“All right you guys. If you want a ride to school, I suggest you get your books and be out at the car in five.”

 

“Wow!” Seth said standing up and taking his bowl to the sink. “Now, that’s funny. She actually expects us to go to school. Maybe mom should be working the comedy circuit instead of dad.”

 

Kirsten rolled her eyes. “Make that three.”

 

Seth laughed as Ryan jumped up from the stool and ran out to the pool house to get his bag.

 

* * * * *

 

Today was as boring as every other school day was at Harbor. Seth had kind of rejoined the land of the living, and by that, he was more social than he had been in the past few months.

 

He sat out at his ‘usual’ table on the veranda for lunch. And slowly but surely the rest of the gang made their way towards the table. Even Marissa and Lindsay came by. It was like it had been before. Only Seth and Ryan were sharing a secret. A secret that they had barely managed to figure out themselves let alone something that they could or would share.

 

Okay, Summer knew, but it wasn’t as scary as Seth might have thought. Although…

 

He hadn’t had the chance to tell Ryan that Summer knew and he was kind of afraid to tell him. Would he be pissed? Now that Seth thought about it, it may not have been the wisest choice in the world to tell Summer. Not because telling Summer was bad, but the whole telling-anyone thing… 

 

Okay, so yeah, maybe he should have waited. 

 

But, he couldn’t undo it, so he’ll just have to suffer the consequences when they came. 

 

He hoped they didn’t come for a very, very long time… like never.

 

The table was very crowded today and with the addition of another person, Ryan had to slide closer and closer to Seth until they were practically pressed along the entire length of their bodies. Seth was squished between the railing of the veranda and Ryan. 

 

Not that this was a bad thing, in Seth’s humble opinion. In fact it was a very, very good thing. Very good. But with Ryan pressed against him, he was finding it extremely difficult to contribute to the conversation at hand. And since the conversation had turned, thanks to Zach, jackass, back to the comic book, he was expected to supply his side of the conversation. Which he was not doing a very good job at if the jabs he was receiving in his side from Ryan were any indication.

 

“What is with you, Cohen?” Summer asked, amusement twinkling in her eyes and voice. “You’ve been acting weirder than normal. And that’s saying a lot.”

 

“Oh! Ha ha! So funny today, Summer. You and my dad should do a dual act at the Comedy Club.”

 

Summer’s brows furrowed together. “Huh?”

 

“Don’t mind him,” Ryan interjected. “Joke from this morning.”

 

“Whatever,” Summer rolled her eyes and turned back to Zach.

 

Zach started in on the graphic novel again, but Seth quickly lost interest when he felt knowing eyes burning a hole through his skin. He flicked his eyes toward Summer and accidentally caught her eye. She was looking between both he and Ryan; a small smirk curling her lips.

 

He glared at her, silently begging her to knock it off.

 

“So, anyone have any plans for this weekend?” Marissa asked, having been quiet for most of the lunch.

 

There hadn’t been a lot of conversation between her and Ryan or Seth since she hooked up with Seth’s ex-girlfriend, Alex. And while the two girls were still together, it felt strange and awkward to say the least.

 

But Seth hadn’t been so happy to hear Marissa talk than at that very moment.

 

“Not really,” Seth answered first.

 

“I was going to have dinner with my dad,” Lindsay stated, earning her a glare from Marissa at the mention of her step-father.

 

“I’m glad,” Seth heard Ryan mutter to Lindsay as he placed his hand over hers.

 

Seth tried really hard not to be jealous, reminding himself that Ryan and Lindsay broke up… because of him. 

 

Seth smiled smugly.

 

“Zach is taking me to Rodeo on Saturday,” Summer added.

 

“I am?” Zach questioned.

 

“Yep.”

 

“Oh. Okay. I am.” Zach grinned. The others at the table smiled knowingly.

 

“What about you, Chino?” Summer asked Ryan innocently. 

 

Seth scowled at her.

 

Ryan looked down at his tray. “Um… Seth finally talked me in to learning how to sail.”

 

“I did?” Seth asked, getting a pointed look from Ryan. “Oh! Yeah! I mean, I did. Talk him into learning. How to sail. I just forgot it was this weekend. Yeah.”

 

“Sail?” Summer mocked. “Is that what they’re calling it now days?” She mumbled.

 

Seth’s eyes widened and he kicked her under the table, missing her and kicking Zach instead.

 

“Sorry,” Seth muttered, flushing and looking down. Not only embarrassed by missing his target, but blushing at the looks he was getting from everyone at the table… specifically Ryan, who was looking at him in confusion.

 

“Trying to become a Newport native, huh, Chino?” Summer added.

 

Seth frowned in disgust. “God, I hope not. I like him just the way he is.”

 

Several pairs of eyes turned to Seth and he burned hot in embarrassment. “I mean… you know what I mean.”

 

They all started laughing at him; everyone except Ryan who was still staring at Seth with part horror that Seth had let that slip and part awe that Seth had let that slip. 

 

“Oh, ha-ha everyone. Perhaps you and my dad could take your act on the road.”

 

“Nope,” Lindsay said standing up. “Just to study hall. I gotta go. Big test in History this afternoon.”

 

“What?” Summer screeched, standing up as well. “There’s a test?”

 

Seth tried to watch Summer freak out because that was always fun and he wanted to be vindictive, but he was still mortified over what he’s said. That is until he felt a foot curve around his ankle. He looked over at Ryan, who was resolutely not looking at him. He pressed a bit closer to Ryan and grinned.

 

The table cleared quickly after that, leaving Ryan and Seth alone.

 

With a silent groan of disappointment from Seth, Ryan slid his chair away.

 

Ryan looked pointedly at Seth, making his wriggle uncomfortably in his chair.

 

“What was that with Summer?”

 

“Uh, n-nothing.”

 

Ryan narrowed his eyes and stared at Seth. “Nothing? Didn’t sound like nothing.”

 

Seth bent his head down, resolutely not looking at Ryan. “Um…” His voice lowered to the point that he saw Ryan out of the corner of his eye lean forward to hear him better. “Um, she knows.”

 

Seth ventured a look up at Ryan.

 

“Really.” Statement, not question.

 

Seth nodded his head and looked back down.

 

“When?”

 

“Since the day after you told me you knew about the notebook.” Seth looked up tentatively.

 

Ryan arched an eyebrow, but his face softened… much to Seth’s surprise. “How’d she take it?”

 

Seth blinked at him. “She, um, apparently she already knew. Said she figured it out when I left for Portland. Because I left for Portland.”

 

Ryan smiled ruefully. “Smart girl.”

 

“Yeah. Are you mad?”

 

“Why would I be mad?” Ryan questioned. “She figured it out herself, right?”

 

“Ye—ah.”

 

“Right?” Ryan repeated, uncertain.

 

Seth’s head jerked up and he looked at Ryan in the eyes. “I didn’t tell her, Ryan, I swear! She figured it out by herself. I promise!”

 

Ryan reached out to Seth, despite anyone looking, and patted his arm. “It’s okay. I believe you.”

 

Seth relaxed, relieved that Ryan wasn’t going to kick his ass.

 

They were silent for a moment before Seth ventured, “So,” Seth’s voice cracked. He cleared his throat and tried again. “So, sailing huh?”

 

Seth smirked as he watched Ryan blush. “It was the only thing I could think of.”

 

Seth lowered his voice and leaned forward. “It’s not that bad of an idea. Alone. In the middle of the ocean. Could be fun.”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“It’s a date.”

 

“Date? Like a Date date? Like a real live date and stuff?”

 

“Is that okay?”

 

“Is it o…? Yeah, it’s okay. It’s more than okay. It’s, like, totally okay. It’s beyond okay. It’s so okay, it’s…”

 

“Okay.” Ryan pulled his hand back from Seth’s arm.

 

“Yeah,” Seth breathed, sitting back in his chair. “Okay.”

 

* * * * *

 

Saturday morning, Seth was up at the crack of dawn, preparing for The Date. He wanted to take Ryan out on the catamaran. And if they were going to spend most of the day out at sea, they needed snacks. Specifically lunch. Well, lunch and snacks. 

 

He was trying to make this as normal as possible; just two best friends hanging out on a boat. Guys did that in Newport every day. And even though it was a date, The Date, their First Date, they were still Seth and Ryan and Seth didn’t want that to change. Well, not too much anyway. 

 

Okay, so there were a few changes he wanted, but if truth be told, he wasn’t in a hurry for those changes to happen. He was just as eager as Ryan was to take things slow.

 

He was in the middle of making sandwiches when Sandy came in dressed in his wetsuit.

 

“Good morning, son. You’re up early.”

 

Seth smiled at his father. “Yep.”

 

“Any reason?”

 

“Yep.”

 

Sandy grabbed some juice from the fridge and stood on the other side of the island, watching Seth.

 

“Well?”

 

Seth grinned as he put the finishing touches on his third sandwich. “Ryan wants to learn how to sail.”

 

Sandy’s eyebrows shot up and disappeared behind his hair. “Really? Ryan? Our Ryan? The broody kid that lives in the pool house? That Ryan?”

 

“Yep.”

 

“Wow. He might turn into a Newpsie yet.”

 

Seth scowled at his dad. “God, I hope not.”

 

Sandy frowned, too. “Yeah, me too.”

 

Just then, Ryan came into the kitchen and made a bee-line for the coffee.

 

“So, Ryan. Seth tells me you’re gonna learn to sail today.”

 

Ryan almost dropped his coffee cup. As it was, there was a loud clatter before Ryan saved the mug from dying a death on the kitchen floor. He whipped his head around to stare at Seth, noticing for the first time that there were several sandwiches, bags of chips, and a cooler scattered around the kitchen.

 

“Um, yeah, I guess.” Ryan took a long gulp.

 

Seth gave Ryan a dirty look. “Don’t sound so thrilled there, buddy. Might I remind you that this was your idea?”

 

“Don’t remind me.”

 

Sandy grinned as he took a drink. “It won’t be as bad as it sounds. Seth’s a good teacher.”

 

Seth looked up at his father at the compliment. “Thanks, Dad.” He pointed to Ryan. “See?”

 

“What’s all this?” Ryan asked sitting down at the end of the counter, reaching out to snag a piece of cheese.

 

“That is my cue to leave. Have fun, boys,” Sandy said as he retreated.

 

“Thanks, Dad,” Seth replied. 

 

Ryan raised his cup at Sandy’s departure. 

 

Turning to Ryan, Seth smiled. “This is our lunch. Can’t have a date,” he whispered the last word, “without a meal.”

 

Ryan grinned into his cup as he took a sip. “Are we still going sailing?”

 

“Yep.”

 

“You know I just made that up so we didn’t have to hang out with anyone else this weekend.”

 

“I know. And it was a perfect idea.” Seth leaned forward conspiratorially. “You and me. All alone. On the open water. All alone. No one else around. And did I mention all alone?”

 

Ryan smirked. “You may have said that once or twice.”

 

Seth straightened up and became serious. “I know you meant what you said about taking this slow and I totally agree with you. I just…” He colored slightly, putting the last sandwich into a baggie. “I just want this to be perfect, you know?”

 

Ryan reached out a hand and put the sandwich that Seth was trying to strangle down on the counter. Grabbing the fidgeting fingers, Ryan squeezed lightly. “Don’t worry.”

 

“But…”

 

“We’re still us, Seth.”

 

“I know, but…”

 

“Don’t worry,” Ryan repeated.

 

“Okay.”

 

They smiled at each other.

 

* * * * *

 

Ryan

 

They had been out for a few hours before dropping the sails and just floating on the water.

 

“This is really nice,” he commented, watching Seth tie down the last rope.

 

“Are you sure I can’t show you a few things? You know dad will ask when we get home.”

 

“Maybe on the way back,” he replied.

 

“Okay,” Seth smiled. He leaned forward and grabbed the cooler. “Hungry?”

 

“Not right now.” Ryan stretched out on the tiny catamaran, feet dangling over the back end and trailing in the water. He patted the space beside him and shifted over a bit when he felt Seth settle in on his left.

 

They lay side by side, staring at the cloudless sky, enjoying the silence of the ocean and each other.

 

Feeling daring, Ryan reached out his left hand and grasped the fingers of Seth’s right. He felt Seth turn his head to look at him, but he continued to stare at the sky.

 

“This is nice,” he repeated, squeezing Seth’s fingers lightly.

 

“Yeah, it is.”

 

They both allowed the silence to lull them for almost a half an hour. When Ryan turned to Seth to say something, he found his head still turned towards him, eyes closed, breath deep and even.

 

“Seth?”

 

Seth didn’t move.

 

Ryan rolled to his side, pulling his feet out of the water and continued to watch Seth sleep. 

 

He knew from the first time they met that there was something different about Seth. Here was someone who didn’t judge him on who he was, where he was from or what had happened in his past. He had accepted him from day one and the acceptance hadn’t changed one bit for the past year and a half. Seth was Seth and as far as he was concerned, Ryan was Ryan. Plain and simple.

 

Not that there was anything ‘plain’ or ‘simple’ about Seth. While he was not complicated in any way, shape or form, he was also not ‘plain’ nor ‘simple’. He was Seth… with all the complexities that came along with him.

 

The problem with Seth, and not that this was a problem for Ryan, was that he was real and the shallow people of Newport just couldn’t see that. Hence the reason Seth was never really accepted as one of their own. Not that Seth had wanted to be accepted by these clones, as he called them.

 

Coming from Chino where real life was alcoholic moms, beatings by said mom’s equally alcoholic boyfriends and car-stealing brothers, Newport’s fakery was as foreign to Ryan as Chino probably would be to Seth.

 

But in the midst of all this plastic, Ryan had been lucky enough to find the one real person in all this fabrication: Seth.

 

Seth who kept him sane. 

 

Seth who kept him real. 

 

Seth who kept him from becoming one of them. And he knew that could have been a real possibility. While he would always be the boy from Chino, he saw in himself the ability to become someone like Julie Cooper… a kid from the wrong side of the tracks trying to become as phony as the town she lived in. He learned this after hooking up with Marissa. He suddenly didn’t have time for Seth. He was too busy being Marissa’s trophy boyfriend, catering to her every need and whim. The day he didn’t have time for Seth would be the day they might as well shoot him; because he did NOT want to become like them: shallow, counterfeit, a poseur.

 

He smiled at the sleeping Seth. 

 

Suddenly he had an overwhelming need to touch Seth. So, while keeping his left hand entwined with Seth’s right, he reached out with his right and gently brushed his fingers down Seth’s sleeping cheek.

 

Seth moaned slightly in his sleep, but did not wake.

 

Ryan then leaned forward and gently grazed his lips over Seth’s, marveling over the softness of Seth’s lips. When he pulled back, brown eyes stared back at him, crinkling at the corners in a tender smile.

 

“Hey,” Seth murmured.

 

“Hey.”

 

“That was...” Seth smiled.

 

“Yeah?”

 

Seth merely nodded. He turned to his side so they were facing each other. “Can we do that again?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

Ryan leaned forward and was met by Seth. Their lips touched softly, broke apart and touched again. Ryan’s free hand slid up to cup Seth’s jaw, fingers slowly sliding around to lace into dark curls. He felt Seth’s hand on his waist and groaned into Seth’s mouth at the light contact.

 

The kiss deepened slightly. Ryan opened his mouth to suck on Seth’s upper lip while Seth instinctually opened his mouth and playfully bit Ryan’s bottom lip. They continued tasting and learning each other for several minutes until a horn shocked them apart.

 

“Damn it,” Seth cursed as he sat up and looked around. Seeing a yacht in the distance, he scrambled up and over to hoist the sail. 

 

“Just when we were getting to the good part,” he leered at Ryan as the wind picked up their sail and began to propel them through the water.

 

“That wasn’t good?” Ryan asked mischievously. 

 

“Oh, I didn’t say that!” Seth wriggled his eyebrows. “In fact, I’d say it was better than good.”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Oh, yeah.”

 

“Good.”

 

“No. Better than good.”

 

Ryan grinned and grabbed a soda from the cooler. “Okay.”

 

* * * * *

 

True to Seth’s word, Sandy grilled Ryan about sailing when they returned late that afternoon.

 

Thankfully Seth had shown him the finer points of hoisting a sail and steering the catamaran with the wind, but other than that, Ryan had no clue how to sail. And in all honesty, he had no desire to learn. Besides, why learn when you’ve got a Seth? And he had his very own Seth. So, really, who cares about learning to sail?

 

They’d gone out to the pool house after dinner to play a few games on the PlayStation. Or so that’s what they had told Sandy and Kirsten.

 

With the curtains closed and the doors locked, they’d both stretched out on the bed facing each other.

 

“So,” Seth began. “Whaddya think of our first date?”

 

“It was nice,” Ryan answered, reaching out to grasp Seth’s hand. Holding hands was fast becoming one of Ryan’s most favorite things to do with Seth. He’d always enjoyed it in the past with Marissa and Lindsay and even Theresa, but there was just something about holding Seth’s hand… he couldn’t describe it.

 

“’Nice’,” Seth repeated. “You’re starting to sound like a parrot.”

 

Ryan lifted an eyebrow. “Huh?”

 

“That’s pretty much all you’ve said today, that ‘it was nice’.”

 

Ryan smiled shyly. “Well, it is.”

 

“Yeah, I guess it is.”

 

Ryan leaned close, intimidatingly close, nose-to-nose. “You guess?”

 

Seth closed his eyes and pressed his lips to Ryan’s, causing Ryan to moan deep in his throat. “It is way more than nice,” Seth whispered against Ryan’s soft mouth, warm breath sliding over moist lips.

 

“Yeah,” Ryan breathed.

 

It was as if their kiss on the catamaran earlier that day had never ended. Ryan’s hand cupped Seth’s jaw, fingers finding their way back into the curly depth while Seth’s free hand slid over Ryan’s waist, pulling him closer.

 

Lips parted and came together, parted and came together, slowly and softly over and over. Tongues flicked out to taste before retreating, teasing the other to follow. After several minutes, Ryan reluctantly pulled back and gazed into the contented face of his best friend.

 

Seth was slow to open his eyes, but when he did, Ryan’s breath caught at the depth of emotion he saw there.

 

Seth grinned, eyes sparkling. “Okay, you win. That was nice.” 

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Yeah,” he said a bit breathless.

 

They stared at each other, caressing each other with their free hand – Ryan running his hand through Seth’s hair over and over and Seth sliding his palm over and around Ryan’s waist. Ryan watched as Seth slid his hand up Ryan’s chest, black pupils overtaking dark brown irises. Both boys breath quickened until Seth leaned forward and pushed his head against Ryan’s chest. He sighed deeply, then just as suddenly, Seth rolled over on his back and groaned, closing his eyes.

 

Instantly worried, Ryan asked, “What’s wrong?”

 

Seth twisted his head to face Ryan. “I should go.”

 

Ryan frowned. “Why?”

 

Seth smiled and reached over to run a finger over Ryan’s bottom lip. “Cuz if I stay... that slow thing we talked about? Not gonna happen.”

 

Ryan flicked his eyes down to Seth’s groin and saw the swelling in his jeans. His eyes widened before returning Seth’s grin. “Yeah, there is that.”

 

However, Seth didn’t move. His eyes fixated on Ryan’s bottom lip, which caused Ryan some swelling of his own.

 

“Seth?”

 

“Mmm?”

 

Ryan leaned over and kissed Seth softly. “Are you going?”

 

“Mmm-hmm.” Seth slipped his fingers into Ryan’s hair, trying to bring him closer, lips nipping at the corner of Ryan’s mouth.

 

“Seth? Go?”

 

“Mmm.”

 

Ryan unwillingly pushed gently against Seth’s chest, forcing them apart.

 

“Seth.”

 

Seth closed his eyes and sighed heavily. “Fine. Okay. Going.”

 

Ryan’s lips curved up as he watched Seth not-move. “Seth.”

 

Seth’s eyes snapped open and he glared at Ryan. “Okay! Okay! Okayokayokay!”

 

Ryan laughed and sat up, dislodging their clasped fingers. “You’re the one who said he had to go.”

 

“You didn’t have to agree with me,” Seth sulked. “Jerk.”

 

Ryan stood and moved around to the other side of the bed. “C’mon.” He reached down and pulled Seth up, who purposefully staggered into Ryan.

 

They stood chest to chest, smirking at each other. Seth leaned forward and was stopped by Ryan’s finger on his lips. 

 

“Ryyyyannnnn,” Seth whined.

 

“Se-eeeeeeth,” Ryan mocked.

 

Seth dropped his head to Ryan’s shoulder. “I hate you.”

 

“I know,” Ryan whispered in Seth’s ear. “I love you, too.”

 

Bright brown eyes snapped up and looked at Ryan. “Yeah?”

 

Ryan colored faintly pink. “Yeah.”

 

Seth leaned forward and whispered in Ryan’s ear. “I love you, too.” He then swiped his tongue inside very quickly.

 

Ryan shuddered. “You’re not going anywhere if you keep doing that.”

 

Seth grinned unrepentantly and quickly stepped back, moving towards the door. As he unlocked the door, he turned around. “Night.”

 

“Good night.”

 

And then Seth was gone.

 

Ryan walked over and peered out of from behind the curtain as Seth walked back to the house. He waved when Seth turned around before going inside.

 

Yeah, today had been nice. Ryan smiled to himself and got ready for bed.

 

 

Finis

6/25/05


End file.
